The Great $1B Google Mix-up of 2008

Three things I got after reading this.

1. A good laugh,
2. That German shameful pride thing, and
3. Miami Sound Machine looping in my head.

Algorithm is gonna get you,
'gorithm is gonna get you,
'gorithm is gonna get you,
Algorithm is gonna get you . . . to-night!

Oweyo weh!
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Ha-Ha-Have you heard?

"I'm glad they invented emoticons, otherwise I wouldn't know what my dad was thinking" – Kerry Godliman

"What do you say to your adopted African child if you want them to eat up their dinner? 'There are people starving in Africa right now, like your parents'" – Tom Stade

"Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family" – Andy Zaltzman

"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown

"Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'There's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him" – Carey Marx

Read the other 45 in The 50 best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe.

And then . . . The wisdom of Ricky:

* Pol Pot – he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he decided if someone was intellectual or not was whether they wore glasses. If they're that clever, take them off when they see him coming!

* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

* Avoid employing unlucky people – throw half of the CVs in the bin without reading them.

* If you treat people with love and respect, they will never guess you're trying to get them sacked.

* If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

* If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

Gervais's latest gig is a movie called "The Men at the Pru", a "cross between The Office and Mad Men." Should have called it "The Office Mad Men" then. Save us the trouble of thinking.

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"EMPTY CONDOM PACKET & A PHOTO OF 'THE TART'S' KNICKERS"

The No.1 song on Billboard's Country Chart? Could be, but not exactly.

Proof of Aussie husband's adultery on sale in eBay

An Australian woman has taken revenge on her cheating husband by putting a photograph of his lover's underpants up for sale on the auction site eBay.

In the listing the woman says she is selling a picture of a pair of lacy black knickers and an empty condom wrapper "size small" found in her bed after her husband had an affair with another woman.




Click on undies to get the skinny. Or place a bid. Go eBay!
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Gone Baby Gone

One of the largest and most photographed natural rock formations in Utah's Arches National Park is gone. Done in by "erosion and gravity" say naturalists. But us kids of the 70s know the real reason.

Damn you Road Runner! Damn you Wile E. Coyote!





Story here.
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Globe 3G iPhone Launch: August 22

Little Boy + cell phone = blocked SIM card.

I call Globe for the PUK and the automated menu happily announces the iPhone's local launch on August 22. I press 1 and a service rep called Paula walks me through the different iPhone plans on offer. A few minutes later I'm making a reservation for a 16GB iPhone under a P1200 GFlex plan with a cash-out north of P20,000. I can hear the clock ticking down to D-day.

I hang up, see the Little Boy standing in the corner, and call Globe again for the PUK.

Get the details yourself and make no reservations about making a reservation even if -- like me -- you've no idea where to get that kind of cash-out cash. Call Globe's 24-hr help line: 211 toll-free from your Globe cell or 730-1000 from any landline.

Look what the mouse dragged in.

Worth a thousand words to be sure. Click on the pics to read a few more.





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Twit for Twat: The Visa Woes of George and Martha

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Last week: Martha Stewart denied UK Visa

This week: Boy George denied US Visa
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Rogue Magazine Joey Mead Body Paint Cover

If you're taking a poll on reactions to the Philippine Independence issue of Rogue:

1. Yes, I actually bought a copy. Big departure from my usual re-wrap, re-rack routine at Powerbooks.

2. Yes, I think it's a work of art. No irony there whatsoever.

3. No, I haven't read the article yet.

4. Yes, I caught Argee Guevarra on the evening news last week gallantly defending freedom of expression, acidly mocking politicians, and ultimately failing to keep a straight face at the very last second.
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PCSO Power Lotto 5/55 + 1/10

Update 6-16-08: PCSO to hold first Power Lotto draw Tuesday, June 17. I guess the June 10 draw never happened. Wonder why.

I plunked P100 hard-earned bucks for two sets of numbers in that Power Lotto (the local version of the US Powerball lottery) inaugural draw last Tuesday June 10. Now I can't seem to find the results anywhere. Nothing in the dailies nor on the web. Which kind of sucks because I could already be a gazillionaire and I'm still busting my hump going to work and kissing my boss's rump every single day unnecessarily.

The PCSO says that with a P50 minimum bet and a P50M minimum pot every draw, this Power Lotto was meant to attract bettors who are financially affluent.

With odds at 1 in 146,107,962 (as opposed to 1 in 13,983,816 in SuperLotto 6/49), Power Lotto also attracts bettors who are mathematically impaired.

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QFT: 3G iPhone by Globe

Update 08-08-2008: Globe says 3G iPhone to launch locally on August 22, 2008. Posted an entry here.


Apple just announced the launch of a dirt cheap 3G iPhone in July. Note Mr. Job's pledge about the price being "the same across many countries."

The lucky 22 countries apparently include our very own, with Globe making its own announcement just a few hours after Apple's, quoting no less than Apple COO Tim Cook.

I'm perfectly fine with Globe's non-committal "later this year" launch date in contrast to Apple's very firm July 11. It's the commitment to the $199 (PhP8000+ !!!) price tag I'd rather hold them to.

clipped from news.bbc.co.uk The cheapest 8GB iPhone 3G will sell for $199, while a second model with 16GB of storage will sell for $299. Mr Jobs pledged that the $199 price would be the same across many countries. The 3G iPhone will be released on 11 July The new iPhones will be launched on 11 July in 22 countries, including the UK.

Update on that John Estrada Case

From "In John’s world right now, all are friends"
By Marinel Cruz
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 23:58:00 05/25/2008

clipped from showbizandstyle.inquirer.net John subsequently figured in more controversies, latest of which was his arrest at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport for illegal possession of bullets. He was to board a Malaysian Airlines flight for Kuala Lumpur when the final inspection of his hand-held baggage yielded nine pieces of live 9 mm ammunition. “I cannot talk about that case; but my lawyers are taking care of it,” said John. “Let’s just say, I learned my lesson the hard way.”

Uh oh. The way things usually go down around these parts, the use of "lawyers" and "taking care of it" in one sentence means exactly what you think it means.

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Pinoy in the News Alert: Maynard de la Cruz

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News from Sacramento, CA.

Golf clubs are stolen. Three hours later they're on Craigslist -- the local Cragslist of the very place where the they were stolen. TaylorMade R7 irons and driver for $120.00.

Dumb thief + Pinoy victim = Say hello to your cellmate Bruce and his own Big Bertha.

Click on screen caps to view video.



Can a name get any more Pinoy than that. Ayos ka 'pre!!! Way to go! Saludo kami!

View the Craigslist ad here.

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If you have porn in your hard drive...

Looks like hurling your harddisk down to earth in a fiery mass of steel is no guarantee your filthy little secrets won't be revealed.

"Data from Columbia disk drives survived the shuttle accident"

Story says 99% of the data was recovered. 99%!!! I can't even recover that email I was typing on Yahoo when my browser crashed.

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The X-Files : I Want to Watch...ahead of everyone else.

Posted about the X-Files Movie a while back. A few weeks ago, the rather underwhelming title was announced: "The X-Files: I Want To Believe." Today, the debut trailer came out here in HD. (After the trailer comes an interview with the creators so you might want to stay on the link and have it automatically load.)

Opens July 25 in the US. Click here for the International Release Dates. It turns out our Dear Motherland is the first in the Far East to screen it. Ahead of all our neighbors who trump us on just about everything else -- except in The Field of Cool, of course. That, we rule. Here's the list sorted chronologically.

BAHRAIN	7/23/2008
EGYPT	7/23/2008
JAMAICA	7/23/2008
JORDAN	7/23/2008
OMAN	7/23/2008
PHILIPPINES	7/23/2008
TRINIDAD	7/23/2008
ARGENTINA	7/24/2008
AUSTRALIA	7/24/2008
CHILE	7/24/2008
CZECH/SLOVAKIA	7/24/2008
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC	7/24/2008
GERMANY	7/24/2008
GREECE	7/24/2008
HUNGARY	7/24/2008
ISRAEL	7/24/2008
KUWAIT	7/24/2008
LEBANON	7/24/2008
PUERTO RICO	7/24/2008
QATAR	7/24/2008
RUSSIA	7/24/2008
SERBIA/MONTENEGRO	7/24/2008
SLOVENIA	7/24/2008
SWITZERLAND	7/24/2008
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES	7/24/2008
AUSTRIA	7/25/2008
BRAZIL	7/25/2008
CENTRAL AMERICA	7/25/2008
COLOMBIA	7/25/2008
ECUADOR	7/25/2008
ESTONIA	7/25/2008
HOME OFFICE ULT.	7/25/2008
ICELAND	7/25/2008
INDIA	7/25/2008
LATVIA	7/25/2008
LITHUANIA	7/25/2008
MEXICO	7/25/2008
POLAND	7/25/2008
SPAIN	7/25/2008
TURKEY	7/25/2008
U.S. COSTS	7/25/2008
UKRAINE	7/25/2008
URUGUAY	7/25/2008
TAIWAN	7/26/2008
BELGIUM	7/30/2008
FRANCE	7/30/2008
INDONESIA	7/30/2008
BOLIVIA	7/31/2008
CROATIA	7/31/2008
HONG KONG	7/31/2008
MALAYSIA	7/31/2008
NEW ZEALAND	7/31/2008
SINGAPORE	7/31/2008
THAILAND	7/31/2008
DENMARK	8/1/2008
FINLAND	8/1/2008
UK	8/1/2008
HOLLAND	8/7/2008
PERU	8/7/2008
PORTUGAL	8/7/2008
BULGARIA	8/8/2008
NORWAY	8/8/2008
SWEDEN	8/8/2008
SOUTH AFRICA	8/15/2008
ITALY	8/22/2008
VENEZUELA	8/29/2008
ROMANIA	9/5/2008
SOUTH KOREA	9/11/2008
JAPAN	11/8/2008

Japan = rotten tamago.


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The Josef Fritzl Photo Album

Everybody knows this guy by now.

"Incest Dad, Horror Father"

"Flossing for the Ladies on Thai Beach"

"Loving the 'razzi at Comedy Central Shindig"

"Doted on by Eldest Son
Who Escaped from Dungeon in 1990"

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It's out there.

A few months or so ago I was thinking about how old TV series are enjoying a new (and maybe better) life in rerun land these days and how rerun land could use a dose of the finer ones like The X-Files. Just a few days after that SkyCable revamped its line-up and two (two!) of its new channels were carrying The X-Files -- with at least one of them airing it three times a day everyday.

Then a few days ago, I was thinking about that big X-Files movie they made and how it made us all scratch our heads and how a new X-Files movie would fare in this day and age. Well just this morning, the wires announced that Mulder and Scully will own the big screen again on July 25, just 119 days from now.

Yep, aliens are reading my mind and making things happen. Why don't you read this, lollipopheads: Lotto...P207,000,000.00...my pockets.



Speaking of ETs, what is arguably the best X-Files episode ever (certainly one of the best ep of any TV show ever), "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'" will air on AXNBeyond (Sky Ch.35 ) at 6am, 12pm and 11pm of April 4, 2008 just 7 days from now.

I remember seeing this once on its original air date on Channel 9 in the 90s and I remember being blown away. I've never seen it since, so screw work next Friday. And if the aliens do what they're supposed to and make my lotto dream happen tonight, screwing work starts tomorrow.

"Honest mistake," he says.

What he should have said was (all together now): "I...am...sorry."

clipped from www.abs-cbnnews.com Metro (as of 3:10 PM) March 24, 2008 No kid-glove treatment for Estrada Airport police on Monday said they will pursue a criminal case against actor John Estrada for carrying live bullets inside the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Chief Superintendent Atilano Morada, head of the Aviation Security Group, said the ASG will pursue the complaint against Estrada if the Pasay Prosecutor’s Office finds probable cause to elevate the case to a trial court. “Anyone who will be caught with live bullets—lawmakers, actors, ordinary passengers—should go through trial,” Morada told ABS-CBN’s morning show “Umagang Kay Ganda.” He said ASG members are required to attend the hearing if the prosecutor handling the actor’s case calls them to the preliminary investigation. Estrada said the bag was borrowed and that he did not know its contents before boarding the flight. "It was an honest mistake," he told reporters.

Update: He was released without bail after inquest since the prosecutor still had to subject the bullets to laboratory tests (they might be chocolate bulltets, see) before formal charges are filed. I think it'll be a while before we get any news on this thing again. Subject in Malaysia now as previously planned with his Brazilian girlfriend whose looks by the way can only be described as bullet-stopping.

John Estrada Bullets Case

Seems like a pretty cut-and-dried case. Would be interesting to know how this pans out.

clipped from www.abs-cbnnews.com Metro (as of 12:07 PM) March 24, 2008 John Estrada nabbed for carrying live bullets in NAIA Actor John Estrada was arrested Thursday by airport police after being caught with a magazine loaded with live bullets of a 9mm pistol inside his hand carried bag while on his way to Malaysia. Estrada, 34, was about to board a flight to Kuala Lumpur at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 1 around 4 p.m. Thursday when he was stopped by members of the Aviation Security Group. The 15 live bullets in a magazine were spotted in Estrada’s black, hand carried bag as it passed through the final X-ray machine at the airport. ASG members asked for documents for the bullets but Estrada could not produce any. Chief Supt. Efren Labian, ASG district commander, said Estrada would be facing violation of Presidential Decree 1866 or illegal possession of ammunition before the Pasay City Prosecutors Office.

I got nothing against the guy, and a sordid showbiz tabloid is the last thing I want this blog to turn into, but the last two paragraphs of that news bit got me:

clipped from www.abs-cbnnews.com

Estrada previously got in trouble with the airport police when he joked about a carrying a bomb inside his baggage during his trip to General Santos City.

His bags were searched and he was held at the airport. Filipino boxing champion Manny Pacquiao’s lawyer intervened then and negotiated for his release from detention after Estrada apologized to airport officials.

Thought it would be nice to find out how he gets out of this one this time. Will be keeping an eye on this and posting updates as they come . Consider it a study on how the wheels of justice turn for citizens of a certain stature in this territory.

Also, a less lofty purpose of this post: I'm taking this clipmarks thing for a spin.


By the way:

clipped from www.doj.gov.ph

PD 1866, as amended by RA 8294 (Law on Firearms, Ammunition
and Explosives)

Violation of Sec. 1- Any person who shall unlawfully manufacture, deal in, acquire, dispose or posses any low-powered firearm such as rimfire hangun, .380 or .32 and other firearm of similar firepower, part of firearm, part of firearm, ammunition, or machinery, tool or instrument used or intended to be used in the manufacture of any low powered firearm or ammunition (1st paragraph)

Penalty
Prision correctional maximum and fine of not less than P15,000.00

Amount of Bail
P60,000.00

Tips for Your Next Makati Coup

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Thank you Senator Trillanes for giving Mrs. President the chance to once again flex her flabby biceps and show everyone who's boss. A few things to consider for next time:

1. Check the weather report. Especially if you fancy a long walk down the aisle and want some audience participation along the way. We Pinoys hate walking as it is so it's silly to think we'd be more willing to do it in the rain.

2. If your cohorts are old enough to be your father and grandfather, expect little support from the 18-49 male demographic and none at all from females of all ages.

3. We like your choice of venue so keep it up. Consider calling yourselves "The Posh Putschists".

4. Get rid of this guy.


4. Show us you're game. If you start something, bring it to conclusion. If you make a demand, stand your ground until you get it. If you chew gum, blow a bubble or two. Or at least make like you're trying.

5. Give whatever it is you're doing a name. Right off the bat, say, "This is a coup / putsch / rebellion / mutiny / terrorist act / hunger strike / sit-in." You will save us the trouble of figuring out what the hell it is and more importantly you will have people referring to you as coup leader, rebel or mutineer instead of twat.

6. Make sure people get something out of it in the end. If not a new government, then maybe a couple of days off work. And in no case should it be a fucking curfew.

7. Lastly, don't forget yer balls.

Ateneo 65, La Salle 64

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Behind by six going in the last two minutes, Ateneo scored seven unanswered points -- five of them from Chris Tiu -- to steal the game that was so controlled by La Salle from the toss it seemed like a lost cause as early as the 3rd quarter.

It was never a pretty picture for Ateneo especially on paper -- more than 25 turnovers, only one 3pt attempt converted the entire game, and just two or three players delivering.

But, as they say, statistics are as important for what they conceal as for what they reveal. And so despite the bad figures (and Boom Gonzales's hitting us over the head with it every chance he got) Ateneo pulled another one off and they did it with persistence, composure and heart. Some things you just can't put a number on.
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